I'm unsure what to do. I'm unsure what to think. I'm just unsure. All I've been doing is thinking the past few days. I've been lost inside my own head, thinking, thinking thinking. Need to stop. No more thinking. Can't stop. Downloading T.V. Shows and music. Need to go music shopping.
I was watching Elvis Costello Spectacle with Lou Reed on Friday. Lou was talking about writing, and where it comes from, and he doesn't know. But not to stop it or get in the way when the writing does come. That's my issue, there's nothing, nothing, nothing. Then the flood gates open. Then I start over thinking what's coming out, whether it sounds corny and lame. I shouldn't, I should just write it all down and worry about that stuff later. Lou said he knew he was in trouble when he started revising. Elvis threw in about how one needs to stop thinking, don't think and just let it happen. I need to work on not thinking.
I feel so very uncreative at the moment. Looking for things to inspire me. Maybe I should stop looking and it will come to me. I can't go chasing after it. I'm scared when I don't write things down, certain ideas, phrases and lyrics will be lost forever. Lou said he's been alive long enough to know it's not gone forever. I'm hopeful for this. I've lost some good ones for now. I want them to come back to me. Stop looking and they will come. Stop thinking and it will fall into place.
Work schedule for the summer is messed. I don't get weekends anymore, which makes it really hard for me to go home at any point. Well I could go home, but everyone would be busy, because one day off is Monday. I don't work Sunday, but I do have the show. This is my last weekend pretty much to go home. So Friday I will go to Wab's music video release party. Saturday I will go home, and return late Sunday, or horribly early Monday.