So Yeah

I haven't updated in like a week. Me and Erin have reinstated the pen pal program. I'm ecstatic, I love writing letters. I'm in the process of writing her a long ass letter about nothing really at all.

Yesterday was Jocelyn's last show before she goes to Africa. She leaves tomorrow, I'll miss her while she's gone, but I'm sure she's going to have an awesome time traveling. Next week I take over the show. I'm working on a playlist, hopefully it's awesome and all comes together. We had her going away party on Saturday, it was a fun, drank an assload of rum.

Went to Rock on the Range earlier on Saturday. Really only went to see Rancid, didn't really pay attention to the other bands, even though I was there. Was just like meh, couldn't get into the music, but Rancid killed it! They were killer, so amazing. I just love them. They did almost the same setlist in Saskatoon, there was a few song changes. Still awesomeness all around.

Haven't been to much shows lately, I'm trying to think about what was the last show before Rock on the Range. I guess it was Wab, last week at the pyramid. Before that was Rancid in Saskatoon. I feel like I'm missing out. Last night was Andrew W.K. at The Albert. I was way to tired to go. I feel lame. There should be some awesome shows coming up. No Doubt in a few weeks, and I'm sure I can find something to go to before then.

Need to go finish writing that letter.

Bah

I came out to my reserve yesterday. On Friday, I went and seen Wab perform at the Pyramid. There was an awesome opening hip hop group. Cannot remember what they were called. I went out last night, got to hang with people I haven't seen in a while.

Got back to my sisters around 9 or 10 this morning. I slept for 4 hours. Went for a swim with my clothes on. It was awesome. Tried driving back home. Made it about 15-20 minutes away, then my car died. Captain Lazerwolf is no more. Well she is, she needs to be fixed. But I'm kind of over it. It barely started all winter, now this. I'm not planning on traveling much outside of the city this summer. I'm working weekends and have the radio show on Sundays. We have a half decent transit system. Not having to pay to insure my car would be awesome, and I would save so much money not buying gas. I can get a bus pass from work for about 55$ a month. I just kind of want to abandon my car. Have to get it towed somewhere tomorrow, can't really leave it on the side of the highway as much as I'd like to.

I just figured out my sister had wireless internet. Even she didn't know she had it. Instead since yesterday I was waiting turns for the computer, meanwhile I could've used my laptop. Oh well at least I figured it out.

Catching a ride to Kenora with my aunt tomorrow. Have to leave ridiculously early. I'm going to miss work. Have to remember to call them early tomorrow let them know I'm stuck in Ontario. The bus doesn't leave Kenora until the afternoon when my work day is almost done.

Have to figure out what to do about my car. Too many things to do.

Need/Thinking

I'm unsure what to do. I'm unsure what to think. I'm just unsure. All I've been doing is thinking the past few days. I've been lost inside my own head, thinking, thinking thinking. Need to stop. No more thinking. Can't stop. Downloading T.V. Shows and music. Need to go music shopping.

I was watching Elvis Costello Spectacle with Lou Reed on Friday. Lou was talking about writing, and where it comes from, and he doesn't know. But not to stop it or get in the way when the writing does come. That's my issue, there's nothing, nothing, nothing. Then the flood gates open. Then I start over thinking what's coming out, whether it sounds corny and lame. I shouldn't, I should just write it all down and worry about that stuff later. Lou said he knew he was in trouble when he started revising. Elvis threw in about how one needs to stop thinking, don't think and just let it happen. I need to work on not thinking.

I feel so very uncreative at the moment. Looking for things to inspire me. Maybe I should stop looking and it will come to me. I can't go chasing after it. I'm scared when I don't write things down, certain ideas, phrases and lyrics will be lost forever. Lou said he's been alive long enough to know it's not gone forever. I'm hopeful for this. I've lost some good ones for now. I want them to come back to me. Stop looking and they will come. Stop thinking and it will fall into place.

Work schedule for the summer is messed. I don't get weekends anymore, which makes it really hard for me to go home at any point. Well I could go home, but everyone would be busy, because one day off is Monday. I don't work Sunday, but I do have the show. This is my last weekend pretty much to go home. So Friday I will go to Wab's music video release party. Saturday I will go home, and return late Sunday, or horribly early Monday.

Saskatoon

I should be sleeping. Or maybe not. I don't work until 12:30 tomorrow, so that's good. I'm tired, but I want to rip all the music I can to my laptop.

I promised myself I wouldn't fill up my laptop with music, but I can't help it. I'm trying to put only my essentials. But I'm not even close to finishing it.

Rancid was A-FUCKING-MAZING!! It was Rancid, like that's all you have to say about that. The Riverboat Gamblers put on an awesome set. Rancid was just stellar, they played a bunch of their old stuff. One of my personal faves, being St. Mary. So killer!! I've never really listened to Rise Against before. They put on a great show, but nothing can really top Rancid. It's a shame they weren't headlining. But nonetheless so glad I finally was able to see them.

Had a good time in Saskatoon actually. As much as we like to bash it here. It's actually a nice small city. You can walk practically everywhere. Well where we were staying anyways.

My car finally got a name on this road trip! From here on out my car is to be called Captain Lazerwolf. Had an awesome time with Jocelyn and Jess. It was just a good fun time, and it would be awesome to do it again.

Should be Sleeping

I should be sleeping right now. I have to be up in 6 hours. I'm picking up a friend at 8. I still need to clean up my car and pack. I am a procrastinator.

I just a got a new macbook today. It is super awesome. I was worried about the transition, but it's super easy and simple to pick up. I'm excited and looking forward to projects I can create with Garage Band. Also being able to cruise the internet for new and exciting music.

Jocelyn is going away in a few weeks, then I take over Only Cowards Sing At Night. It becomes my show in the interim. I'm nervous and excited. Mostly excited. Finding new music that I enjoy and is inspiring, or just fun, is vitally important.

Music is my life. Whether I'm just a spectator witnessing great music before my eyes, or listening to it in my car, house, anywhere. I'm also a participant, with my writing, that will soon turn into music, that I can record, and isn't just in my head. Now with the radio show, music will play an even more active roll in my life. My goal for this summer, is to try to go to as many local shows as I can, and try to find interesting new music. Hopefully that will be inspiration for me.

Thoughts

I just read that David Carradine committed suicide. I'm dumbfounded. I loved him. Why would someone at 73 years of age, think that now's the time. It came from out of nowhere and is totally unexpected. I feel the need to now go and rent Kung Fu on DVD and watch the entire series. I'm sure sales will go up because of this. I don't want to buy it and contribute to the masses.

That's one thing I can never totally understand, and I don't think any of us will. Why would someone want to take their own life. Well I've just read more about it now, apparently it was an accidental hanging. I think we all know what that means. He went out the same way as Michael Hutchence, from INXS. Kinky.

Too many different stories on this event. Some say accidental, others say suicide. I still don't get suicide. I've known a few people who've left the world in this manner. I can't say I haven't thought about it myself. But what drives someone to think that there's nothing left, and that they're absolutely done and spent? I've thought I've been at that point before, but I realised there was so much left for me to live for. I have way too much unfinished business.

Why do people think that all their business is finished, or that there's nothing left to accomplish? I've felt that way at times, but there's something inside me that compels me to live and to keep on striving for better things. I wish other people had this in them, and didn't feel so helpless and hopeless.

Ick

The new Rancid CD totally rocks my socks. I bought it yesterday, it's totally awesome. I couldn't wait for the end of the week, so I decided to buy it the first day out. Glad I couldn't wait.

Yesterday, I was sick, so I called in sick to work. The first time this year. Well actually the second time this year, however, the first time I was made to come into work. I heard that today, that one of my coworkers, was trying to make me come into work. Not fucking impressed. If someone told her when she called in sick, that she had to come in, she'd cry, or something, throw a fit. Luckily one of my other coworkers talked some sense into her. I was worried that I would have to come into work, because we are extremely short staffed. However when I re-awoke at 2 pm, I knew I was safe.

I sat and read all day it was nice. Finished my second book for the week. Now I'm moving onto a third, but it's my second week. There's three different books I've started, not sure which one I want to finish first.

Work is far too boring. I need to find music, I want my laptop yesterday, but I have to wait until at least Friday. I haven't really been writing or finding music at all lately. All my thoughts have been focused on reading. No inspiration has really hit me, as of late.

I have an hour and thirty minutes left in my shift. I really just want to crash hardcore. Oh how swell would that be. However we all know I'm going to go home, and stay up until all hours of the night.

I actually accomplished a little something today. I went and paid my membership fees at CKUW. I'm officially a volunteer there. I'm stoked. I think I should go there more often and help catalogue or something. That would help me find new music. But we all know I like to make things more difficult than they already are.

g.f.t.

Thursday was amazingly awesome. The Magnificent 7's put on a great show. I loved the dude totally rockin out and givin 'er on the mandolin. The Farrell Brothers were great. One of the brothers has this amazing white stand-up bass. Its the prettiest/most gorgeous thing EVER! It had incredible pinstripe detailing, and the cut out where the sound comes out, was red. It was great. I totally fell in love with that bass.

There was one unnecessary moment of the night, where I got to see a guys junk in front of the stage, and I believe his girlfriend (I'm hoping his girlfriend, and not some random girl) than tea bagged him. Of all the things I could've went my life without seeing, that's definitely up there. They were right in front of the stage and it was impossible not to look, it took all of my concentration to keep my eyes on the stage. It was much like watching a train wreck.

They disappeared shortly after their display, thankfully. It was then Subcity's time to come on and bring the house down. It was a sold out show, and was absolutely amazing. At some points the dance floor suddenly transformed into a mosh pit, but it was cool, someone stomped on my ankle, and it bruised and swole up a bit. Nothing I can't handle, and I just like complaining about small things. They were great, played some new stuff, played some great old stuff. I skanked/danced the whole time they were on. I love them, so freaking much.

Among the other good news I got Thursday, was my DVD The Last Boy Scout, had arrived at CD Plus, I was thankful for that. My mom also called me to wish me a happy belated birthday. During that conversation, I talked my way into a brand new laptop. I'm totally stoked. She's sending it to me this Friday. Now I'll be able to update this thing from home and not work.

I'm getting a mac book, the only thing that sucks about it, I won't really be able to game on it. However it'll do wonders for my recording. That's what I most want it for, so I can record, and also for when I take over the radio show in a few weeks, I'll be able to research music. I'm really excited.

My weekend was pretty uneventful. I started reading The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on Tuesday, I finished reading it last night. I co-hosted Only Cowards Sing At Night, with Jocelyn last night. That was fun, I hadn't really been listening to music all week (reading and going to shows), so we mostly played her music, I believe I picked 3 or 4 songs to play.

This time next week, I shall be in Saskatoon, getting ready to see Rancid. Like oh my god!! I've been waiting years to see them, and I get to see them TWICE this month alone! We're heading off to Saskatoon on Sunday, and returning on Tuesday. The new Rancid CD comes out tomorrow, I should definitely pick that up before next week.

On another note, just so I don't forget the new CKY album came out a week or two ago, and they're coming to Winnipeg, June 22nd. I must go. I should buy my tickets sooner rather than later.

I'm just really looking forward to my new laptop, and the things that it'll bring me. It'll bring me awesome new music, let me create awesome (hopefully) new music. Just hopefully the new laptop will help inspire rather than inhibit me.