Monday, February 23, 2009

Two More Weeks

Two more weeks and I'm spending 5 days with my bestest. I'm so stoked. Shopping shall be had, especially shopping for cowboy/cowgirl boots. I need to get out of this city, yesterday. I've just been in a really fowl mood in the past week or two. I've been having a really short temper, and not been into people trying to cheer me up. It's like leave me the fuck alone please. This one girl at work she's funny, but it's like fuck leave me alone when I'm in a bad mood. She just asked me in a joking way why I was being such a bitch today. Kindly fuck off. I've been bitchy the past two weeks almost. I've just been very quiet and introspective as of late. I'm so not in the fucking mood to keep up appearances right now. The only thing that's keeping me from being totally miserable is that in two weeks, I will be far away from this place. If someone asks me the most innocent question in the wrong way, I might just rip their head off. I really have no tolerance for retardedness. Actually I have no tolerance for anything right now, even if you're being sweet, that might just piss me off more. I just want to be left alone, but I work until Friday then finally get Saturday and Sunday off. I've been working since last Tuesday. I just want to be alone and not have to deal with anyone right now, because I don't want to say the wrong thing, and I just really fucking want to be left alone. People are asking me what's wrong. It's like nothing really, I just don't feel like me, but that's ok. I don't know what's wrong so it's an impossible question for me to answer. I think once I'm with my bestest I'll be ok, she grounds me and makes things better. And I'll be away from this godforsaken place. I think that's it. I just need to get away. I've been stuck in this city for too god damned long. My escapes away back home, aren't really escapes, I think that's just been adding to everything that hasn't been going on. I need a real escape and the mountains will definitely be a real escape. Just keep on repeating over and over in my head two more weeks, two more weeks. That's like my zen mantra, or at the very least how I'm trying to keep zen. I just recently started re reading Fight Club. I love that book, it's totally one of my favourites. This Friday I believe at work I'm going to finally pay off my long overdue library fines, and get a brand spankin' new library card, before you need credit checks for one. Since I've posted a few song lyrics today. I'll end off this post with some original writing.

There is one thing you should know
As much as I go with the flow
I'm not that laid back,
Or super cool
It's just a show put on for you
It's a show called my life
I invite everyone inside
To see the grand facade
Everything is blind or numb
Can't help but feel so dumb.

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