I don't even know where to start with this. It seems as if everything is good, but at the same moment everything seems to be falling apart. I just don't know what to think, or do. My options seems to be running out. But I know in like a week or two things will be more bearable. I know in my life when everything seems to be going down the shitter, it's only a matter of time before everything rectifies itself. I'm so glad I finally got my nowhere tattoo. It's definitely helping me a lot as of late. I just tend to fuck things up, or make things weird with people. I try not to, but I keep on repeating past mistakes, hoping the next situation will turn out differently, but so far it has yet too. Here's something I wrote in the past few weeks. I've been doing a lot of drinking lately and it's been helping me write. I think this may become a bad dependency, however I'm enjoying it for now. I should learn to write without the help of any drug or alcohol stimulus, however I need it for the time being.
These feelings that you're making me feel inside
They scare me to death
I've never really felt like this before
The thought of being without you is terrifying
I must keep this bottled up deep inside
I'm scared to lose myself
I'm scared of the person I may become
You seem to make me different, but the same
All these thoughts are driving me insane.
I cannot explain the way you make me feel.
Everything is disorder and chaos
But things couldn't seem clearer
I just want you to be nearer,
I want to stop feeling this way.
Can you feel this way too?
No one gets me quite like you do
You almost make me feel sane.