Wednesday, May 13, 2009


It's raining right now. I started raining when I laid down in bed last night, that was around 2 or 3 am. It stopped raining when I finally decided it was time to drift off to sleep. I'll say that was approximately around 4 or 5. I'm one of those people who actually likes and enjoys the rain. As much as I love sunny days, I also love a good rainy day. Everyone here is complaining about the rain, I'm sick of it. My favourite weather in the whole-wide-world is sun showers. It's the best of both worlds, it's sunny and rainy, oh how I love it, unfortunately it's not sun showering today.

Before work, I went and bought some guitar picks, because I'm constantly losing them. Here's hoping I won't have to buy more for another week or two.

No internet, and trying to find music is hard. Here's hoping that I get a laptop for my birthday, but I'm highly doubting that.

Monday I did up buying film, however no one answered my calls, and I decided I didn't want to go out and take pictures on my own. So I ended up just staying home.

I do have a pretty stellar play list going, but it feels like I'm missing something, or leaving something out. As the show gets closer, I'm getting more and more nervous. I'm worried people won't like the music I have to play.

Maybe I'm missing something in my life. As much as I try to be happy and cool, sometimes, it's hard to do so. I really miss being in love. I love being alone and on my own, but at the same time, once in a while I miss the companionship, and always having someone to be there for you, emotionally, and intimately.

I've been having really weird and bizarre dreams lately. The other night, I had a dream I was doing the radio show, and just the station was weird and what not. And I had a dog out of nowhere. Last night I had this dream I was following this guy around, we were looking for something but couldn't seem to find it. Actually in my dream, the more I think about it, there was something I needed to get from him, so I was following him, so I was just following him everywhere, and he'd be like oh it's here, then I'd ask him for it, and he wouldn't have it, and encourage me to keep on following. I think I need to stop following. This sucks, I don't want to stop following, and give up. In my dream I also had a baby randomly. The baby randomly showed up in my dream, and I was her mom.

When I was younger I used to have dreams about my future son, in my dreams, people would always take him away from me, and return him after 2 years. The dream I had last night, she was a newborn, and she was given to me, or I had her without knowing. This was definitely different, and I'm not sure what it all means. When I was younger, I used to cry for my son and in my dreams, I desperately wanted him back. With this baby, it was given to me, and I didn't want it. I was wondering why people would willingly give me this baby, and how could they trust me with it. It's not like other baby of my dreams where I would to anything to keep him.

I'm trying to figure out what this all means. I think I need to invest in some dream books or something. My dreams need analysing, or maybe it's just me trying to over analyse everything again. It's a problem of mine over analysing situations.

I really just want to be on a nice beach somewhere without a care in the world.

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