Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Todays Thoughts

I can't say that anything very interesting happened to me today. I worked an 8 hour shift. Listened to music the entire time. Went on youtube watched a few short films. Wrote a little bit. But nothing too exciting. I have such a lax job it's awesome. I get paid to go on youtube, listen to music, and write, essentially. I do little else. Sometimes people come in, and I provide customer service. But it's pretty quiet and people tend to leave me alone. I've been listening to a lot of Everlast as of late. He's just so amazing. I really admire him, and the stories that he tells in his lyrics are just beautiful, and heartbreaking. He seems to have such a deep insight into life, just by learning from personal experience. I try to strive for that in my own life, by agreeing to do things I shouldn't be doing, or going on otherwise dangerous or risky adventures. However if I see the adventure through, I have an amazing story to tell, and have lived life that much more. You can't learn from life by not experiencing things. I believe the only way to truly learn something is to experience it yourself, and not rely on what other people say as the truth. I've been just reintroducing me to myself over the past year and a bit, and I still have a lot to learn. Music I realised is a huge part of who I am. In fact creativity is a huge part of who I am. I never before considered myself a creative person. I always considered myself an academic, books and school that was my life. I've always enjoyed music and film, and I was always secretly jealous of the makers of music and film for their creativity. I believed creativity wasn't a part of me, me and it didn't mix. I always wanted us to mix, but it was like oil and water. So I followed my chosen path, which was academics. However after choosing this path for myself, I realised I wasn't doing it for myself, I was doing it because it's what society wanted from me. They whoever they are, tried to stifle my creativity now it's time for my creativity to be unleashed. Who knows I may come up with pure rubbish, or I may be completely brilliant. I'll never know until I try, and that's what has stopped me before. I've been too afraid to try and fail, I didn't have enough courage, I didn't believe enough in myself. I've learned a lot about myself in this past year and a half. I am strong enough, I do have the courage. I need to say I at least tried, because if you don't at least try, you'll never know, and you'll always leave yourself wondering what may have been. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering about the what ifs. So my life is on a new path now, which I find exciting. I've been on this path for a while actually, but the journey is so far amazing. I totally ran off on a tangent there. I was talking about Everlast, then all of a sudden about my life and what it's all about, I constantly do that. But yes Everlast, he's an amazing writer and I wish I could write the way he does. Well not the way he does, but have the story telling ability to grab people in, and make them listen and feel real emotion. I'd love to be able to make people feel that way. I've been paying way more attention to lyrical content as of late, even more so than I normally do. I'm searching for inspiration and actually finding it. It's a great new feeling. King of Leon are also amazing, along with The White Stripes and of course Queens of the Stone Age. But on my playlist as of late has been predominately Everlast, Kings of Leon and The White Stripes.

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