Lush

I apparently have a drinking problem. According to my mom. I don't think I drink more often than anyone else my age. I drink mostly on weekends. I'll occasionally have a bottle of wine to myself during the week. It's not like I'm drunk everyday or missing work, etc. It seems like every time I talk to her, she throws in something that I should watch my drinking. I think it's because everyone on that side of the family is sober and no one drinks or does drugs. So my drinking and drug use by comparison is rampant. So tonight, after work I'm going to the liquor store, buying a bottle of wine. Visiting a friend, picking up some drugs, and then I'm going to watch a movie, whilst drunk. Then at 12:30 am is the premiere of Demetri Martin's new show on the Comedy Network. I love him and he's an awesome comedian, he's so totally hilarious. I'm looking forward to it. I feel I'm rebelling a bit by getting drunk tonight. It's like I don't have a drinking problem, so I shall get shitfaced. Haha. I'm not sure which movie I shall watch tonight. I really want to clean my house. I think in the next few days I'll take some ephedrine and get fucked up and just have a field day scrubbing everything down. I can't clean my house at the moment. I'm having some bill problems, but in the next few days that should be all cleared up. Getting drunk and/or high fixes everything I believe. But that's just me. There's this awesome lyric from a song "every body's looking for the drug that heals" that lyric totally applies to me. I'm so on the hunt for the drug that heals. I'm not convinced it necessarily exists. I think the key to healing ourselves comes from within. No amount of drugs or alcohol will fix anything. Although it does make for good fun times. But as much as I'm convinced that drugs don't help anything, that doesn't stop me from experimenting and hopefully finding the right mixture.