Guess who's back? Back again?
That's right. It's your dear old friend Ms. Charlie Prescott. A lot has happened in the almost 3 years since I've updated this thing. And I feel that now is the right time. A comment I made tonight in passing made me realise how much things have changed.
I got a mandoline for Christmas. Charlie of years past, would've gotten a mandolin. I made the comment "I can't wait to play with my mandoline later, cutting vegetables, and not making music".
I haven't written in years. I've been too busy to miss it until lately, I'm trying to reclaim, my life and reclaim me and Charlie. So the update. I quit marijuana, because I was pregnant. I'm now the proud mother of the most gorgeous and hilarious 2 year old girl. She's my life. Also I mentioned missing a doctors appointment, and going to get the results now that I had other medical concerns (me having a child, namely).
The results weren't good. I was tentatively diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. A follow up MRI after the birth of my child, confirmed the diagnosis. My relationship fell apart. So here I am, a single mother, with relapsing - remitting Multiple Sclerosis, and I'm the happiest I've been in years. I'm determined to live my life on my terms, and to be happy and content in my choices from here on out.
I've adopted a Paleo lifestyle in the past few months, and am feeling great. My energy levels have been so up. Luckily so far the only thing the MS has effected is the loss of sight in my eye in May 2010 (which I regained), and my energy. I've starting working out, I conveniently work at a gym, and am slowly rediscovering my old self (minus the booze problem). I've never been so focused on a goal, it's not even a goal. I'd just like to be healthy and mobile as long as possible, so my daughter doesn't remember a gimpy mom.
So that's my life in a nutshell, in the past 3 years. Hopefully I'll be back here more often. I'd like to start writing again, and I believe more inspiration will be arriving shortly, I don't know who or what it'll be, but I can feel something changing or coming.
Also to all the assholes who've been trying to hijack my Charlie Prescott google id. Fuck off. I got this bitch on lockdown.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
**Long Awaited Update**
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Well I haven't updated this blog in like forever! I used to update it all the time, and I don't even remember the last time I updated it. I'm currently writing in my MacBook (yes I'm a snob like that) in a text document, so I can't even look back to see when the last update was and what I last wrote. I believe it was sometime in the summertime when I was feeling betrayed by the people I trusted around me.
Well a few things are new with me, somethings I'm not ready to divulge at this particular moment, but sometime in the upcoming weeks/months.
I've quit drinking, after a gong show New Years Eve, that I don't particularly remember. I was blacked out before midnight, didn't start drinking until after 10 p.m. so that spelled disaster right there. Too many embarrassing stories the next day and weeks told about me and my antics. Figured my drinking days were over since, I couldn't get a grip on myself anymore. Being out of control is not fun. At least my planned self destruction a few years ago, was planned and in control, where I never blacked out. But as time went on being blacked out and doing embarrassing shit became a normal occurrence. That was not the path I wanted to be headed down.
Also in the past month or two, I've given up the one thing that was a constant in my life for the past 10 years. Marijuana. It was a big step, but it had to be done. Surprisingly I don't actually miss it as much as I thought I would. I find my mind is a lot clearer. I'm not so sluggish and I actually feel motivated to do things. I'm not blaming pot for making me sluggish and unmotivated. I believe that part of me was within myself, and I let pot be a crutch for that.
I haven't been writing lately. I don't know what to write, it's like I've hit a wall. Also I don't remember the last time I picked up my guitars and even tuned them. They're so sad and neglected. I miss them, but rarely have the alone time to play with them. Life is cleaning and work now. I'm determined to keep my house clean and not to fall back into old behaviours.
I'm at a major turning point in my life now. I'm 25 now, I'll be 26 in about two months. I have a lot to look forward too. Also another thing I've given up is smoking. I quit smoking back in December. Just once I was finished a pack of cigarettes I decided not to go buy another and it was surprisingly that simple. I haven't had a cigarette since. Not even when I was still drinking. The worst is when I'd crave a cigarette after smoking a bowl. It was my ritual, smoke a bowl, smoke a cigarette. Mmmmm smoke filled lungs. I've become something I never thought I'd be; a sober person, free of everything.
I have a few big choices to make in the near future, decide what I really want for myself. This life is more than just me now, and I have to realise that. I'm unsure what to do, at this current juncture. I know what's coming, but am unsure how to proceed.
I just had a few moments of sideline from writing this, and went into my bedroom to look for something unrelated. But upon further inspection I believe my notebooks from the past few years are missing. So say I'm upset is in understatement. My songs, poems, my soul was in those pads of paper. I hope they're just currently misplaced and hiding somewhere in my abode. I'm too distraught right now to actually look for them. I fear I may just throw things around and create a big mess. I'll wait until I'm calm and have plenty of time to clear things out to look for them. I sincerely hope they're just lost in this mess. Not that there is much of a mess anymore, but I hope you know what I mean.
I was looking for a letter from a doctor's appointment I missed back in December, to get the results of a MRI I had undergone. I forgot to write down the appointment, therefore missed my follow-up. Considering the situation as of late, I feel it's of the utmost importance I get to see the doctor. However, I've only seen this particular doctor once before, and forget his name, and I know what department he works, perhaps on Monday, I'll call that department at the hospital and see what I can do from there.
But yes, I hope to update this thing more often. We shall see where my life is headed now, and what's in store for me.
Well I haven't updated this blog in like forever! I used to update it all the time, and I don't even remember the last time I updated it. I'm currently writing in my MacBook (yes I'm a snob like that) in a text document, so I can't even look back to see when the last update was and what I last wrote. I believe it was sometime in the summertime when I was feeling betrayed by the people I trusted around me.
Well a few things are new with me, somethings I'm not ready to divulge at this particular moment, but sometime in the upcoming weeks/months.
I've quit drinking, after a gong show New Years Eve, that I don't particularly remember. I was blacked out before midnight, didn't start drinking until after 10 p.m. so that spelled disaster right there. Too many embarrassing stories the next day and weeks told about me and my antics. Figured my drinking days were over since, I couldn't get a grip on myself anymore. Being out of control is not fun. At least my planned self destruction a few years ago, was planned and in control, where I never blacked out. But as time went on being blacked out and doing embarrassing shit became a normal occurrence. That was not the path I wanted to be headed down.
Also in the past month or two, I've given up the one thing that was a constant in my life for the past 10 years. Marijuana. It was a big step, but it had to be done. Surprisingly I don't actually miss it as much as I thought I would. I find my mind is a lot clearer. I'm not so sluggish and I actually feel motivated to do things. I'm not blaming pot for making me sluggish and unmotivated. I believe that part of me was within myself, and I let pot be a crutch for that.
I haven't been writing lately. I don't know what to write, it's like I've hit a wall. Also I don't remember the last time I picked up my guitars and even tuned them. They're so sad and neglected. I miss them, but rarely have the alone time to play with them. Life is cleaning and work now. I'm determined to keep my house clean and not to fall back into old behaviours.
I'm at a major turning point in my life now. I'm 25 now, I'll be 26 in about two months. I have a lot to look forward too. Also another thing I've given up is smoking. I quit smoking back in December. Just once I was finished a pack of cigarettes I decided not to go buy another and it was surprisingly that simple. I haven't had a cigarette since. Not even when I was still drinking. The worst is when I'd crave a cigarette after smoking a bowl. It was my ritual, smoke a bowl, smoke a cigarette. Mmmmm smoke filled lungs. I've become something I never thought I'd be; a sober person, free of everything.
I have a few big choices to make in the near future, decide what I really want for myself. This life is more than just me now, and I have to realise that. I'm unsure what to do, at this current juncture. I know what's coming, but am unsure how to proceed.
I just had a few moments of sideline from writing this, and went into my bedroom to look for something unrelated. But upon further inspection I believe my notebooks from the past few years are missing. So say I'm upset is in understatement. My songs, poems, my soul was in those pads of paper. I hope they're just currently misplaced and hiding somewhere in my abode. I'm too distraught right now to actually look for them. I fear I may just throw things around and create a big mess. I'll wait until I'm calm and have plenty of time to clear things out to look for them. I sincerely hope they're just lost in this mess. Not that there is much of a mess anymore, but I hope you know what I mean.
I was looking for a letter from a doctor's appointment I missed back in December, to get the results of a MRI I had undergone. I forgot to write down the appointment, therefore missed my follow-up. Considering the situation as of late, I feel it's of the utmost importance I get to see the doctor. However, I've only seen this particular doctor once before, and forget his name, and I know what department he works, perhaps on Monday, I'll call that department at the hospital and see what I can do from there.
But yes, I hope to update this thing more often. We shall see where my life is headed now, and what's in store for me.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sub Peace and Harmony
I got this email over the weekend, in one of my gmail addresses, and just thought I would share it, so weird that I got it in one but not the others. Also I wrote an update over the weekend for this blog that's an actual post, and will update tomorrow
Dear Brothers & Sisters,
We all need to pray for one another, and to love one
another. We should always pray for the safety, peace,
love and brotherhood for people all over the world.
Too bad we can't have an independence day for the
entire world. A day of freedom from ignorance, hatred,
war, illusions, power and control. A day where we can
all love each other as human beings and toss away the
weapons of war, and cast out our fears and hatreds
from our hearts into the graves. We must mourn the
graves of the innocents all over the world, and give
the children of the world the hope of a peaceful,
loving and beautiful world.
A world full of love and without hatred or fear. A
world where we can join hands together and accept one
another, regardless of our skin color, ethnic
divisions, religion or nationality. If we don't unite
as a human race, then we have condemned the future
generation of children a dark and very grim future.
Think of love, compassion and peace always...
MY PRAYER FOR PEACE AND HARMONY
Merciful God, You made all of the people of the world
in Your own image and placed before us the pathway of
salvation through different Preachers who claimed to
have been Your Saints and Prophets. But, the
contradictions (made by us) in the interpretation of
Your teachings have resulted in creating divisions,
faith based hatreds and bloodshed in the world
community. Millions of innocent men, women and
children have so far been brutally killed by the
militants of several religions who have been
committing horrifying crimes against humanity and
millions more would not be butchered by them in the
future, if You guide and help us find ways to reunite
peacefully.
IN THE NAME OF GOD, THE COMPASSIONATE, THE MERCIFUL,
look with compassion on the whole human family; take
away the controversial teachings of arrogance,
divisions and hatreds which have badly infected our
hearts; break down the walls that separate us; reunite
us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish Your purposes on earth; that,
in Your good time, all nations and races could jointly
serve You in justice, peace and harmony. (Amen)
Regards,
S.A.Rehman
Peace Activist
PAKISTAN
Dear Brothers & Sisters,
We all need to pray for one another, and to love one
another. We should always pray for the safety, peace,
love and brotherhood for people all over the world.
Too bad we can't have an independence day for the
entire world. A day of freedom from ignorance, hatred,
war, illusions, power and control. A day where we can
all love each other as human beings and toss away the
weapons of war, and cast out our fears and hatreds
from our hearts into the graves. We must mourn the
graves of the innocents all over the world, and give
the children of the world the hope of a peaceful,
loving and beautiful world.
A world full of love and without hatred or fear. A
world where we can join hands together and accept one
another, regardless of our skin color, ethnic
divisions, religion or nationality. If we don't unite
as a human race, then we have condemned the future
generation of children a dark and very grim future.
Think of love, compassion and peace always...
MY PRAYER FOR PEACE AND HARMONY
Merciful God, You made all of the people of the world
in Your own image and placed before us the pathway of
salvation through different Preachers who claimed to
have been Your Saints and Prophets. But, the
contradictions (made by us) in the interpretation of
Your teachings have resulted in creating divisions,
faith based hatreds and bloodshed in the world
community. Millions of innocent men, women and
children have so far been brutally killed by the
militants of several religions who have been
committing horrifying crimes against humanity and
millions more would not be butchered by them in the
future, if You guide and help us find ways to reunite
peacefully.
IN THE NAME OF GOD, THE COMPASSIONATE, THE MERCIFUL,
look with compassion on the whole human family; take
away the controversial teachings of arrogance,
divisions and hatreds which have badly infected our
hearts; break down the walls that separate us; reunite
us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish Your purposes on earth; that,
in Your good time, all nations and races could jointly
serve You in justice, peace and harmony. (Amen)
Regards,
S.A.Rehman
Peace Activist
PAKISTAN
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Idiot
I feel like such a fucking fool, and idiot. I expect the best out of people, because I only give them the best of me, and expect the same in return. But I suppose that is too much to ask for.
I've been told I'm a horrible judge of character and I suppose I am. But even my own family? Like my own blood? I just don't understand. This is the second time I've known about this person has gone behind my back. Then acts like my best friend when I see them in person. Like what the fuck? Just be real. I hate fake people.
Reoccurring themes in my life. Same shit, different day. I'm just done with certain people. FUCKING DONE, like dinner! Like fuck. This is a rant-like blog post, if you haven't noticed that already.
But seriously folks, like where has the trust in this world gone? Maybe I just trust in the wrong people? But who are the right people? All I want is to find someone where the trust will remain unbroken and intact. But trust just seems to break.
I need to escape this city, and just be alone and think. But it seems like I have nowhere to go. I'll figure something out.
I've been told I'm a horrible judge of character and I suppose I am. But even my own family? Like my own blood? I just don't understand. This is the second time I've known about this person has gone behind my back. Then acts like my best friend when I see them in person. Like what the fuck? Just be real. I hate fake people.
Reoccurring themes in my life. Same shit, different day. I'm just done with certain people. FUCKING DONE, like dinner! Like fuck. This is a rant-like blog post, if you haven't noticed that already.
But seriously folks, like where has the trust in this world gone? Maybe I just trust in the wrong people? But who are the right people? All I want is to find someone where the trust will remain unbroken and intact. But trust just seems to break.
I need to escape this city, and just be alone and think. But it seems like I have nowhere to go. I'll figure something out.
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